Enough with the Bullshit, Please

I am so glad it is August, as I am ready to retire from this god forsaken summer.

(Please make this autumn arrive speedily and make it not suck.)

While sitting in my dad’s hospital room last week (he was discharged this past Thursday, by the way), I used YogaToday’s Adi Amar’s phrase “let go of that which does not serve you” to let go of headaches, shoulder aches, foot spasms, and eye spasms. (I am secretly in love with Adi, but not so secretly now. My new goal is to go to Jackson Hole and take a class with her.)

Currently, I’m trying to let go of the dizziness, neckache, and stomach weirdness that has been plaguing me since noon today.

I think most of it is exhaustion. And it’s hard to let go of exhaustion when it’s all you have left.

On Positive Notes
My dad has not hiccupped since the morning of Friday, August 1! That was only nearly 10 days of hiccups!

My poor dad.

I stayed through the week and took him home Thursday afternoon. He was moved out of the ICU on Tuesday, and an endoscopy showed that his bleeding wasn’t from an old ulcer. Instead, it was extreme esophagitis caused by acid reflux.

My dad was on Protonix twice a day anyway. Now he has promised to quit coffee.

He better keep his promise.

His Protonix drip in the hospital allowed his esophagus to heal enough so that muscle relaxers stopped the hiccups. He’s slowly spacing out his muscle relaxer doses in the hopes of being able to discontinue it without hiccupping.

My dad was also hallucinating in the hospital. While funny, it also made me cry.

I also cried from all of the hospital sadness. Like sponges we soaked up everyone’s tales of grief and lamented the deaths around us.

I was most affected by the two elderly brothers who witnessed their other brother die the day after he was moved out of the ICU. We saw the gentleman move out of the ICU, and he died as my dad was settling into his regular room just across the hall. The brothers must have been in their late 70s, and there is nothing quite as unsettling as watching little old men sob their hearts out. Wearing their best farmer overalls, they reminded me of my grandpa and his friends so much, I felt like I knew them and I wanted to take their hands and hug them.

My mom was most affected by the woman whose husband had been on life support for the past 3 weeks. They were about to disconnect him, but his son’s arrival (to say a last goodbye) was met with so much improvement, they decided to hold off on the disconnection.

The House
On a more upbeat note, Amanda and her younger brother (who is living with us for a while) moved all of our crap to the new house!

The amount of stuff to put away has overwhelmed me.

So Instead I Cooked
Well, I’ve unpacked a lot so far, but I also cooked some yummy stuff. Sunday evening, I used my new cookbooks to make an eggplant gratin and a pasta dish with ground lamb and a Greek-style tomato sauce. On Monday, I made chocolate chip-zucchini cookies, and helped Amanda make tortellini with her favorite red pepper-tomato sauce.

For dinner tonight, Amanda bought me some chicken noodle soup and even warmed it up for me.

This neckache has me feeling super-grumpy, but I’m trying to let go of the grumpiness too.

I have to assist at a conference tomorrow. I really just want to stay home and lie curled up in bed.

Woe is me and woe to this summer of discontent.


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