When considering with whom I should pair up for my stats lab, I chose another older student who is pretty laid back about stuff. What I didn’t realize is that he is an amazing curser.
I hang out with some pretty good swearers, but this guy’s cursing is gold. Which is awesome because I’m amused during our lab work rather than bored out of my mind.
Picture a computer lab full of young, hardworking, shiny students, and then me and my partner in a corner. I usually look like something the cat dragged in, and he hulks over the computer with his 6′ 5″ frame. All the other students are la-di-da stats la-di-da while a stream of expletives comes from our corner, all said in a hard Baltimore-New York-Chicago hybrid accent:
Goddamn piece of shit motherfucking SPSS you fucking piece of shit. Fuck you Excel and your goddamned fucking copy and paste shit, fuuuuuuck youuuuu. Motherfucker. Fuck. I’m going to fucking tear this up, shitty SPSS. Goddamn motherfucker.
The usual wrap up is:
Fucking stupid stats tables. Fuck them motherfuckers pieces of shit. Hey, do you want to grab some lunch from the food truck?
I chuckle. A lot.
Porkchop recruited me for a two-step class, and the first one was last night. This is part of our independent projects of Trying New Things. And for me, Get Out of My Comfort Zone.
Guess what? My dance skills have not improved at all.
I’m a whiz at the emo head-bob dance. I can even move my lower body. However, paired dancing is a totally different story.
I was paired up with a bossy lesbian who said things like, You have to follow and let me lead.
As my stats partner would say, screw that motherfucking piece of shit dancing.
Seriously, I have a problem following, but I don’t want to lead either. I realized on the drive home that I’m more of a dance anarchist. I’d much rather have a collective team rather than a leader and a follower. But I suppose that wouldn’t really work.
Also, there was a lot of lesbian talk during the session. Groan. Queers: where are you?
On the way home from two-stepping, I cranked up this song and smiled.
Carrie Brownstein, come take me away.